My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
