he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize