Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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