How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
