Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
only if we run a train.
done.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
