Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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