I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
