I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
