Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
