That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
