My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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