yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
