Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
