I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
