After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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