you guys were way drunker than both of me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize