We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
