White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
