are you still at the devil's house?
we have officially lost it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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