At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
