how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
