Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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