My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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