every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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