I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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