im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
