Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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