PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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