I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
