Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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