Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
