I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
