im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
this is an emotional support booty call
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
