Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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