just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
