Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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