You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize