Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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