no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
