She's JV to your varsity
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
