i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
