My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
