Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
