i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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