he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
