I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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