maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
