i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
