Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
