No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
