so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
