I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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