Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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