Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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