Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
