after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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