Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
