I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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