the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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