farters have to be the big spoon...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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