Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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