I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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