her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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