sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it's not cheating when I paid for it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
