I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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