It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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