Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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